Fic: More (Brideshead Revisted)

[rosiespark]

.
Another tiny little ficlet-thingy, which I’ve decided to post today, even though I can’t reply to comments. Otherwise I’ll never post it, which would be a shame because, unlike the host of scribbled fragments I dignify with the name of Works In Progress, this one actually feels complete.

Title: More
Pairing: Sebastian/Charles (Brideshead Revisited)
Note: the title derives equally from Sebastian saying “More.” and from my having added to Evelyn Waugh’s rather frustratingly reticent account of the relationship between Charles and Sebastian. Most of this takes place in the space between two consecutive lines in the book…


He tells me about Constantinople and Athens, and about outwitting Mr Samgrass and making his escape back to Anthony in Constantinople. I listen and laugh, where appropriate, and hide my unease behind a haze of cigarette smoke.

He tells me about his Christmas in London, and the sick weight of distress grows until I can bear it no longer. I get to my feet and wish him goodnight.

He smiles then, and says, “Stay, Charles,” and kisses me, and I cannot refuse.

The next morning, with the hunt assembling outside, he asks me for money, as he said he would. I know what he will spend it on, but I cannot refuse him this, either.

I give him a pound.

“Is that all last night was worth to you, Charles?”

I know I am staring at him in disbelief.

He laughs mirthlessly. “Cheap at the price.”

I have no words to express the sudden sickening hurt.

His face crumples with his next breath. “I’m sorry, Charles. I didn’t mean it.” And just for an instant, he is his old self, charmingly contrite, apologizing for some minor misdemeanor with quiet sincerity.

“Sebastian.” I cannot keep the note of entreaty from my voice.

I reach out a hand but he steps back, face hardening into immobility again. I have lost him.

With a frown, he looks at the note in his hand and baldly utters a single word. “More.”

***


P.S. Thanks to dargie and semyaza for their replies re. my mysterious inability to reply to posts or comments. ‘Fraid I’m still stuck. :( I haven’t tried downloading an lj client yet, since pc was supposed to be reformatted today. Since it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen, I might try Semagic.

ETA: Apologies for posting twice!

Comments

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouchouchouch. Yes, I'd say that it's complete.

[rosiespark.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouchouchouch.

If that wasn't exactly the effect I was trying for, I'd say sorry for making you go "ouch". Thanks for commenting! :)

I downloaded and installed Semagic yesterday. But I couldn't find a way of replying within the programme - it just opened the comment page in IE. And the bloody buttons for "post comment" and "more options" still weren't there. *heavy sigh*

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

You are, however, commenting. ???

I don't use a client, which is why I said I was talking through my hat. Did you contact LJ Support to see if they had any suggestions? You can't be the first person in the world to have this problem. Surely.

[rosiespark.livejournal.com]

You are, however, commenting. ???

Yes, from work. Where everything works as it should when I access lj, leading me to believe that it's my bloody computer.

I think I'll wait till after I get it reformatted before contacting lj support. I mean, the computer's started doing a number of weird things lately - chances are this is just another sign of its growing insanity. :(

[walkingdaydream.livejournal.com]

Eep, sorry you have to get it reformatted... it pained me when I had to do it a year ago. (sympathetic hug) Let me know when you're operational again - hopefully soon - and I'll resend that file I sent you.

[romanticalgirl.livejournal.com]

Was glancing through your fic and saw that you had written BHR, and was all joyful.

This is gorgeous and painful and so perfect. Sebastian and Charles keep cutting at each other, but they love each other, and that's what makes even the smallest word hurt so deeply. Well done.

[rosiespark.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the lovely feedback! This just about sank without a trace when I posted it, so it's wonderful to get a surprise comment on it.

Sebastian is spiralling out of control at this point and I doubt Charles could have saved him even if he'd tried. But still, I can't quite forgive him for leaving...

And Waugh doesn't spell out Charles's reasons for leaving - his reticence is most frustrating! I had initially intended writing at least part of a sex scene between them, but found I couldn't do it. So I hope it's clear from Sebastian's "cheap at the price" that Charles stays for more than just a kiss...

[romanticalgirl.livejournal.com]

Definitely clear that Charles stayed. Have you heard the Audiobook/play with Jamie Bamber as Sebastian? Oh, it's just LOVELY. If you haven't, let me know and I'll see if I can yousendit to you. It's really so good.

I don't know if you'd be interested, but I've written a few BHR myself. If you'd like to give them a try, you can find them here (http://romanticalgirl.livejournal.com/tag/brideshead+revisited). They're a little more graphic (save "Communion"), so if that's not to your taste, you might want to avoid. *g*

[rosiespark.livejournal.com]

Eeee! Sam icon!! *g*

Thanks for reminding me about JB as Sebastian - lovely, yes. I do have the audiobook, but thanks anyway for the upload offer. I absorbed the book, audiobook and tv series all in a very short spell at the height of my BHR obsession last year. ::loads audiobook on mp3 player:: About time I listened again!

I have nothing against graphic per se, if supported by the context, so shan't be avoiding your fics. *g* Though I have to say I'm also a fan of writing where you have to read between the lines. Mary Renault is very clever at this (almost too clever!) in The Charioteer, for example. I was aiming for something similar with my ficlet.

[romanticalgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do love that picture of Sam. That jawline, the arch of his eyebrow, the line of his nose. *sigh*

I really love the audiobook of BHR so much, something about Ben Miles and Jamie Bamber just made it all so lush and lovely in my head. Their voices worked well together. It was my introduction to Waugh, so I then rushed out, bought the book and absorbed that. I'm waiting for the miniseries to come up on my Netflix queue just to revive the flare. Of course, I can't help but see Jamie as Sebastian and want Ioan as Charles, but then, I'm a bit obsessive in that regard. *g*. Ioan just strikes me as very Jeremy Irons-esque.

"Communion" is by far my favorite of all my BHR stuff, though I do like "Adrift" as well. Not that I don't like the others, but sometimes saying a little works just as well as saying a lot.